By Zeenat Osman-Nieftagodien
The Journey of Loss commenced at the beginning. The seed that grows into a beautiful garden, a wonderful adventure with some pebbles along the way. Once we are comfortable, once we know how to navigate the journey, the journey takes an unexpected turn… I lost something, lost someone, I lost…
Name, Describe, Draw Your Loss:
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Loss comes and follows us all… Imagine, if you will, a life without loss.
Would you have climbed that staircase, eaten way too much ice cream, would you have dreamt about the impossible and ways to make it possible.. Simply, a life without loss, is not a realistic one nor what we actually desire. The hurt is what we want to avoid but not the love, growth and memories that hold everything and everyone alive.
But loss is scary, it’s permanent, it hurts and it is so confusing.
It is Loss.
Draw, Write down or Colour what you felt when you first realised what you have lost and what it means:
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The Core, Centre, the Middle most point of loss determines how quickly you will be able to make the loss a part of you. This is what will allow you to feel the worst pain and then grow and flourish with it. This is what you have actually lost physically and emotionally. However this is the part that never wilts.
Write a letter to your loss:
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All I know is that everything feels like it has changed. Telling you that it feels like this missing and longing has been with you for longer than time allows. When you want to know your loss better than you thought you could. Your breath feels heavy, since yesterday everything has changed, all one feels is rain pouring and all feels the same in a strange kind of new.
Describe if you can or draw if you will the innermost pain caused by the circumstance of your loss:
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Loss has a process that does not follow any particular pattern. At some stage you will grieve so much, your heart will feel that it is about to burst. At some point the loss will feel so unimaginable, that you will find yourself in complete denial and reality will become a mere nightmare that one will have to fce. At another stage you will beg to the God’s to bring back the loss and to take the pain away. Then at another stage, you will feel grateful for the time and memories made. There will be a multitude of emotions ranging from anger, sadness, madness, emptiness, low low mood and all the other ones that will drain you. Some feelings will be kinder, the ones that make you remember the good times and the love shared. This is a fluid and fluctuating, nauseating, rollercoaster of a journey and one that has been paid for meaning you cannot get off until the very end.
At which stage do you find yourself today:
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The story of your journey with loss is up to you… It is important to note that there is a prettier side to sadness and that with time your world will have colour again.
If you wish to speak in person, to try and make sense of this thing called loss, please do not hesitate to contact me at Claremont Practice/Prosper Psychological Service